Pardon My French

Men get laid, but women get screwed.
Quentin Crisp

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I think all guys have doubts about their heterosexuality at some time in their life. Especially the times they’re touching another guy’s penis.
Jim Rosenberg

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I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
George Carlin

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Some mornings, it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Emo Phillips

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I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a simple stage direction. My copy of the script clearly said: Enter Juliet from the rear.
Lester Stevens

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Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it.
Lewis Grizzard

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People come up to me and say, “Did I go to college with you?” I say, “No, I’m Ron Jeremy, you’ve seen me bang a lot of chicks”, and they go, “Oh yeah”.
Ron Jeremy

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The penis mightier than the sword.
Mark Twain

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Obscenity is whatever gives the Judge an erection.
Unknown

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The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred sixty two admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love heterosexuals. It’s just that they need more supervision.
Lynne Lavner

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Good sex is like good Bridge: if you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
Mae West

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Any man that can’t find what he is looking for in a thousand women is really looking for a boy.
Gershon Legman

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