Pardon My French

I ask no favors for my sex. All I ask of our brethren is that they will take their feet from off our necks.

Sarah Moore Grimké

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But ugliness in a man doesn’t matter, much. Ugliness in a woman is her life.
Joyce Carol Oates (Faithless)

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Rape’s not something where you just go, “Well, get over it” or “Believe in love and peace, my child, and it’ll all be over.” Well, fuck you, that isn’t the answer. It’s a great thought, OK, but you can go and stick crystals up your butt and get on with it. I’m all for love […]

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I want to live in a world where the words male and female are flexible and subjective, even redundant. A world of perpetual transformation, where sexuality and gender become obsolete as people begin to question why they should be the same person, day in, day out. A world where the overriding ethos is to question […]

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In seduction you can only lead the way. It does not reflect poorly upon you as a man or a human being if a woman cannot or will not walk the path with you. Seduction is a mutually pleasurable and often unpredictable set of escalations. The question isn’t where is this going […]

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When I was teaching college, I treated my bust with an ironic detachment. Standing before a classroom chock full of hormonally challenged, sleep deprived and often hung-over eighteen and nineteen year-olds with a big rack was for me an ironic kissing cousin to when my friends taught class in Arrested Development tee-shirts. I just thought […]

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Having a male gynecologist is like going to an auto mechanic who doesn’t own a car.
Carrie Snow

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In current American society, marriage is overdertermined. Which means that it’s burdened with so many concepts, laden with so many signifiers, heavy with so much expectation, that it’s often difficult to make it all work.
Chelsea G. Summers (Pretty Dumb Things)

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The more one loves a mistress, the more one is ready to hate her.
Francois De La Rochefoucauld

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Hornover: what one wakes up with the morning after a night of getting too horny without release.

Sommeil Liberosensa

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Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me.
Dustin Hoffman as Ben Bradock (The Graduate)

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I knew we hit it off the minute we met. There was this skinhead that was harassing her and she walked up to him and said, “I’m more of a man than you will ever be — and more of a woman than you’ll ever get.
Rosario Dawson as Mimi (Rent)

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I got confused. I thought it was a K.Y. scare, so I bought 2000 jars of personal lubricant. I still have some.
Julie Brown

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It is no way to live, to wait to love.
Dave Eggers

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Like a compass needle that points north, a man’s accusing finger always finds a woman. Always.
Khaled Hosseini

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Hanging up on your girl is just not smart.  Because — once the strap-ons, the sissy panties, the stilletos, the leather, the cat-o-nine tails, the nipple clamps, et. al are put away — we really are earth girls and you need to be polite.
Angela St. Lawrence (Earth Girls are Queasy)

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I think that testosterone is a rare poison.

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Bitch Acronyms

B = Babe
I = In
T = Total
C = Control of
H = Herself
B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything
B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Causes
H = Hard-ons
B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Happy

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H […]

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An intellectual is a person who’s found one thing that’s more interesting than sex.
Aldous Huxley

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My iguana’s sick.
He’s all floppy. Could he have
Reptile dysfunction?
Chef Troy (Haiku Master)

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I love you is the inscription on Pandora’s box.
Mason Cooley

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Innocence is thought charming because it offers delightful possibilities for exploitation.

Mason Cooley

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There really is no such thing as rejection. The concept of sex as a competition to be won or lost was foisted upon us, in biblical times, by the evil corporation that owns Just For Men, aided and abetted by the beer, nightclub and automobile industries, and, in more recent times, by […]

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I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman.
Virginia Woolf

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Punishment spankings, my personal favorite, can get into some very serious scenes and are often misinterpreted by those who don’t have that calling. These encounters can get personal and can be based on offenses that the receiver feels the need to have forgiven. It is often referred to as a “purification” that one may have […]

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All women do have a different sense of sexuality, or sense of fun, or sense of like what’s sexy or cool or tough.

Angelina Jolie

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The question that women casually shopping for perfume ask more than any other is this: “What scent drives men wild?” After years of intense research, we know the definitive answer. It is bacon.
Luca Turin

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Women make up one half of society. Our society will remain backward and in chains unless its women are liberated, enlightened and educated.
Saddam Hussein

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She don’t like her eggs all runny
She thinks crossin’ her legs is funny
She looks down her nose at money
She gets it on like the Easter Bunny
She’s my baby I’m her honey
I’m never gonna let her go
He ain’t got laid in a month of Sundays
I caught him once and he was sniffin’ my undies
He ain’t too […]

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The only jobs for which no man is qualified are human incubators and wet nurse.  Likewise, the only job for which no woman is or can be qualified is sperm donor.
Wilma Scott Heide

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Sex appeal is fifty percent what you’ve got and fifty percent what people think you’ve got.
Sophia Loren

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