The Five Stages of Sex
May 14, 2007 by Angela St. Lawrence
1. SMURF SEX: This happens during the honeymoon period. You both keep doing it until you’re blue in the face.
2. KITCHEN SEX: This is the beginning of the marriage. You’ll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen.
3. BEDROOM SEX: You’ve calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you’ve got to do it in the bedroom.
4. HALLWAY SEX: This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, Oh, Fuck YOU!
5. COURTROOM SEX: This is where you get divorced and your wife delights in screwing you in front of everyone in the courtroom.