Pardon My French

The more passion the better.  But you know that — in itself — is a horrible disease.  You can never fulfill yourself doing that.

Janice Dickinson

Ladies, just a little more virginity, if you don’t mind.

Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree

It’s not gender reassignment surgery, but genital reassignment surgery.  I think that is the most appropriate name for it.  We’re not changing gender.  Gender is what’s there; it’s been with us all from age three or four years old.  We’re just simply aligning the genitalia with the gender.

Dr. Marci (Mt. San Rafael Hospital)

Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss.

Alexander Dumas

Marriage is the only Union without a Shop Steward.

Les Dawson

I wish that people who are conventionally supposed to love each other would say to each other, when they fight, “Please–a little less love, and a little more common decency.”

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

The Wonderbra is not a step forward for women.    Nothing that hurts that much is a step forward for women.

Nora Ephron

Stop the world and answer your phone.  I want to get OFF!

Phone Sex Client

Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
‘Cause it’s OK to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
‘Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you’d love to know what it’s like
Wouldn’t you?
What it feels like for a girl.

Madonna, What it Feels Like for a Girl (video)

A woman must be pretty if she is to please the men. A man is much better off. As long as he has five straight limbs, he needs no more!

Sigmund Freud

You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct.

M. Somerset Maugham

The natural world is full of females falling hard for stupid male display behavior, including bright feathers, big antlers, and bombastic courtship rituals.

Richard Conniff

The best Phone Sex Fantasies I’ve experienced are usually with someone I’ve gotten to know. We’ve taken some time to figure out exactly who we are together and then met somewhere in the middle re. exactly how we define Phone Sex.

Angela St. Lawrence (Zen Fetish)

Believing you are worthy of love means that you believe I deserve to be treated well - with respect and dignity.  I deserve to be cherished and adored by someone.  I am worthy of an intimate and fulfilling relationship.  I won’t settle for less than I deserve.  I will do whatever it takes to create that for myself.

Suze Orman

It is not the object of debauchery that excites us, rather the idea of evil.

Marquis de Sade

Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have.  It’s much sexier than any body part.

Aimee Mullins

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

Les Dawson

Other women cloy
The appetites they feed,
but she makes hungry
Where most she satisfies.

Shakespeare (Antony and Cleopatra)

When you worship the women, you get the world.

Patti Stanger (Millionaire Matchmaker)

Working as a journalist is exactly like being a wallflower at an orgy.

Nora Ephron

Only a man can be a woman the way a man wants a woman to be.

Nicole Asahi

My girlfriend is out of town.

T-Shirt

Beautiful women have always been a popular subject for artists.  And since the invention of the nail, people have been pinning those women on their walls.

Burke Heffner (Things to Look At)

Nurses do it with gloves on.

Bumper Sticker

I’m going to Iowa for an award. Then I’m appearing at Carnegie Hall, it’s sold out. Then I’m sailing to France to be honored by the French government. I’d give it all up for one erection.

Groucho Marx

Embracing passion means living with fear.

Erica Jong

Marry him not for money or riches, but for what hangs in his britches.

Unknown

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.

Karl Marx

Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires.

Robert A. Heinlein (Notebooks of Lazarus Long)

It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge.

Voltaire

The best kind of kinky sex is to have kinky sex with your wife or husband, the person you love.

Frank Langella

We’re all made up of many parts, other halves.  Not just me.

— Jeffrey Eugenides (Middlesex)

Did we go to different schools together?

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself — like, for instance, he can’t find any clean socks.

Jean Kerr

My girlfriend said to me in bed last night, “You’re a pervert.” I said, “that’s a big word for a girl of nine.”

–Emo Philips

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

Robin Williams

Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center.

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

The body has a mind of its own.

Mason Cooley

I always say beauty is only sin deep.

Hector Hugh Munro

Men make the moral code and they expect women to accept it.

Emmeline Pankhurst

A lover without indiscretion is no lover at all.

Thomas Hardy

Here’s a tip for the girls:  If a guy admits to cheating in his last relationship, cross the street.

Patti Stanger (Millionaire Matchmaker)

Vaginas are fun to play with, but you don’t marry them.

Dr. Pat Allen

I also found that a lot of men are into forced feminization. It seems to be easier for them to accept their love of dressing up and acting like a girl this way. I’ve always felt that if something like that will give you pleasure and it doesn’t hurt anyone else then go for it. And if your going to do it do it right!!!

Teresa Bowers (Strapped in Silk)

Clitoral-only orgasm. These are good, they are great even. These were my only method for some time - back when I was using only found objects such as the battery-operated toothbrush. My fingers? Meh. I’ve orgasmed from merely fingers very few times in comparison. I have gotten to the edge many times, but usually not over. It is, indeed, frustrating.

Dangerous Lilly (This Could be Dangerous)

In the night I hear ‘em talk, the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul
To a woman so heartless
How could you be so heartless?
How could you be so heartless?

How could you be so cold?
As the winter wind when it breeze yo
Just remember that you talkin’ to me though
You need to watch the way you talkin’ to me though

I mean after all the things that we’ve been through
I mean after all the things we got into
Hey yo, I know of some things that you ain’t told me
Hey yo, I did some things but that’s the old me

And now you wanna get me back and you gon’ show me
So you walk around like you don’t know me
You got a new friend, well I got homies
But in the end it’s still so lonely

In the night I hear ‘em talk, the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul
To a woman so heartless
How could you be so heartless?
How could you be so heartless?

How could be so Dr. Evil?
You’re bringin’ out a side of me that I don’t know
I decided we wasn’t goin’ speak so
Why we up 3 a.m. on the phone?

Why does she be so mad at me for?
Homie, I don’t know, she’s hot and cold
I won’t stop, won’t mess my groove up
‘Cause I already know how this thing go

You run and tell your friends that you’re leavin’ me
They say that they don’t see what you see in me
You wait a couple months then you gon’ see
You’ll never find nobody better than me

In the night I hear ‘em talk, the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul
To a woman so heartless
How could you be so heartless?
How could you be so heartless?

Talkin’, talkin’, talkin’ talk
Baby let’s just knock it off
They don’t know what we been through
They don’t know ’bout me and you

So I got somethin’ new to see
And you just gon’ keep hatin’ me
And we just gon’ be enemies

I know you can’t believe
I could just leave it wrong
And you can’t make it right
I’m gon’ take off tonight
Into the night

In the night I hear ‘em talk, the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul
To a woman so heartless
How could you be so heartless?
How could you be so heartless?

Kanye West (video)

I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible.

Leslie Nielsen

In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind.

Nora Ephron

There are three sexes—men, women, and clergymen.

Sydney Smith

The woman who has too easily and ardently yielded her devotion will find that its vitality, like a bright fire, soon consumes itself.

Antoine de Rivarol

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.

Ogden Nash

Remember, sex is like a Chinese dinner. It ain’t over ’til you both get your cookie.

Alec Baldwin

I believe that organic sex, body against body, skin area against skin area, is becoming no longer possible, simply because if anything is to have any meaning for us it must take place in terms of the values and experiences of the media landscape. What we’re getting is a whole new order of sexual fantasies, involving a different order of experiences, like car crashes, like traveling in jet aircraft, the whole overlay of new technologies, architecture, interior design, communications, transport, merchandising. These things are beginning to reach into our lives and change the interior design of our sexual fantasies. We’ve got to recognize that what one sees through the window of the TV screen is as important as what one sees through a window on the street.

J. G. Ballard

I love female feet. It doesn’t matter if they are naked, covered with a pantyhose or stockings. Something special is to see these wonderful feet in sexy shoes. I also like to see the girls play with there shoes. It’s the greatest for me when these feet are licked, kissed, sucked or worshipped (particularly if they can lick their own toes).

Waikiki (blog)

I mean, no one wants to hear his sister having sex, let alone with a married dude who’s, like, almost twice her age and who has eight kids and a maybe-crazy wife.

Jason Hummel (article)

Beauty fades; dumb is forever.

Judge Judy

Back in the days when men were hunters and chest beaters and women spent their whole lives worrying about pregnancy or dying in childbirth, they often had to be taken against their will. Men complained that women were cold, unresponsive, frigid. They wanted their women wanton. They wanted their women wild. Now women were finally learning to be wanton and wild — and what happened? The men wilted.

Erica Jong

A woman is like a horse:  she needs to know that she is being ridden firm and strong.

Anonymous

What’s wrong with a little incest? It’s both handy and cheap.

James Agate

There’s no reason that the government should prevent homosexuals from entering civil marriages because some religions object to the concept, any more than the government should ban atheism because some religions object to it.

Lisa Pampuch

Queer means strange and unusual. It’s not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we’re supposed to do–what man and woman are for. Now, at the same time, we’re supposed to love everybody and accept people, and preach against the sins. I’ve had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children.

Joe the Plumber

Virtually all of our spankings end up as bare bottom spankings, and for the most part, they start that way. It can be fun to progress down layers though. Typically, when that happens, it will be a playful spanking.

Todd And Suzy (Spanking American Society)

Some things are better than sex, some things are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.

W. C. Fields

Up on Cripple Creek she sends me
If I spring a leak she mends me
I don’t have to speak, she defends me
A drunkard’s dream if I ever did see one

The Band (video)

Men don’t put as much stock in pictures of Phone Sex Operators as you’d think. Because — to be honest — the more you stroke, the better she looks.

Mr. F. (Phone Sex Client)

I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.

Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

They were sitting on the floor leaning into the corner of the room, her mouth on his nipple, her hand moving his cock slowly.  An intricate science, his whole body imprisoned there, a ship in a bottle.  I’m going to come.  Come in my mouth.  Moving forward, his fingers pulling back her hair like torn silk, he ejaculated, disappearing into her.  She crooked her finger, motioning, and he bent down and put his mouth on hers.  He took it, the white character, and they passed it back and forth between them till it no longer existed, till they didn’t know who had him like a lost planet somewhere in the body.

Michael Ondaatje (In the Skin of a Lion)

I’d call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be like flogging a dead horse.

Woody Allen

It is better to be unfaithful than to be faithful without wanting to be.

Brigitte Bardot

Most men would never tell a girl her Pikachu smells like a crab cake. It’s just not done. But they would have no qualms about telling their guy friends. Similarly, if you’re a guy and you pull your pants down, and the girl you’re with immediately starts text messaging her friends, you have a small penis.

Chelsea Handler (Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea)

Love begins with an image; lust with a sensation.

Mason Cooley

Trolling through phone sex ads acts as a giant group therapy session.

Mr. H - Occasional Phone Sex Client

Don’t tell me too much. I want to worship you.

Elias Conetti

Think of my vagina as a vase, and if you’ve had sex with me, then it’s time to send me flowers.

Bethenny Frankel (Real Housewives of NYC)